Endo Warriors

Copy of Singleness Blog

At the end of 2014, I had been experienced chronic pelvic pain for nearly 4 years from Endometriosis. I was about to leave my job because I was too unwell. My marriage was broken and in disarray. I had gained 25kg’s. My self-confidence had plummeted and I had lost hope. It felt like I was at war with this insidious disease and it had one. However, I sought support from other women with Endo and found an incredible sisterhood – particularly online. As a result, I wrote a song about living with and fighting Endometriosis.

About three years ago I had the opportunity to be interviewed for a documentary. Last night I had the privilege to sit in a room with my fellow Endo Sisters and their supporters and watch the finished product, Endo & Us. I also had my first opportunity to sing this song, ‘Endo Warriors’ for an audience, as well as share some of my journey on the panel.

I will share the link to the movie when it’s uploaded at the end of the week 🙂

I promised I’d make the song available tonight, so, here it is 🙂

In the video you will see I messed it up midway through. I was assured it just added to the performance, mimicking real life 😅.

Endo Warriors

 

So many times, you’ve heard me complain
about my life, that’s devoured by pain
From my waking moment, ’til I fall asleep at night
Endometriosis consumes my life

But I’ve found some comfort, for there are women who share,
give understanding, kindness and empathetic care:

and we are warriors and we will fight together
We are sisters and will persevere
We’re united with hope in our hearts, wearing gloves of faith
we will not give up – as we fight
to put an end to endo.

Some symptoms have plagued us for years
and we’ve lost count of the times it’s caused tears.
Our bodies don’t function the way they should
and our relationships are strained, we’re so misunderstood.

But we’ve found other sisters, with whom we share,
give understanding, kindness and empathetic care:

For we are warriors and we will fight together
We are sisters and will persevere
We’re united with hope in our hearts, wearing gloves of faith
we will not give up – as we fight
to put an end to endo.

We’ll fight for the future
We’ll fight for a cure
We’ll call for more research
We’ll courageously endure!

For we are warriors and we will fight together
We are sisters and will persevere
We’re united with hope in our hearts, wearing gloves of faith
we will not give up – as we fight
to put an end to endo.

Original Recording can also be listened to on my Soundcloud Account:  https://soundcloud.com/alexandra-ellen-mills/endo-warriors-1

I’ll Endure Until I’m Cured

This is step six in the grow program: I’ll endure until I’m cured.

I will persevere and I will fight. When I feel I can no longer withstand the discomfort and pain I can turn to my sisters to give me strength until I can see a glimpse of hope again.

I can hold onto God’s promise that says one day I will be healed completely. I will have a beautiful, disease free body. So, even if there may be no cure (for me: endo, PCOS or depression) in my lifetime, I know one day I will be completely cured from all that hurts me today.

Don’t be Imprisoned by the Here and Now

It’s Endo awareness month; so I thought I’d share what hope looks like for me. Like many of us with endo and other chronic illness, we often have more than one issue we have to deal with in our lives. The primary problem becomes compounded by other issues; compromised immune systems, mental illness, chronic pain and other diseases. I’ve had clinical depression for 15 years and am convinced that it’s the reason why the pelvic pain moved from “acute” and “chronic.” It wasn’t until I learnt to manage the depression that I was able to manage the chronic pain – it was a vicious cycle. I was part of a “Grow Group” which is a 12 step program for mental illness (like AA).

Over the next week I will share three quotes from the Grow Blue Book (or the program). These have been one strategy that has enabled me to avoid reacting emotionally to the physical symptoms I regularly experience. It’s enabled me to gain a sense of control over something I have no control over. Even though I am trapped in an endo-infested body, it no longer infects my mind and heart. I am free!

Don’t be imprisoned by the ‘here and now.’ Nothing is forever. I am strong. One day there could be a cure. One day you may try a new treatment that helps. One day you will meet someone who understands and takes you seriously. Just because it sucks today, doesn’t mean it will “always” this sucky.

We can have hope by focusing on “facts,” not just fluffly positivity. We can have hope because we have been beautifully and wonderfully made by the creator of the universe. We can have hope because we have a purpose in life. We can have hope because we made it through the days past. We can have hope because we made it through today. We can have hope because every day endo awareness increases. We can have hope because science and technology is constantly evolving and developing. We can have hope because we have each other and we ARE loved.

I have hope because the God who made me loves me, supports me, cares for me, provides for me, sustains me and promises me a place in His new creation. Jesus death and resurrection has given me assured hope that one day I will be given a new body that will never be corrupted from rebelling against God’s good and perfect plan. I can look forward to Jesus returning, when, I will one day know true freedom and will be eternally safe from sickness, sadness and sin.

For more info on Grow check them out: http://www.grow.org.au